The band Pink Floyd has a song called “Time.” In it, a lyric says, “Holding on in quiet desperation is the English way.”
In my experience, this is not only the English way but also the human way.
You see, not unlike most people, I have been searching and holding on in quiet desperation for approval and acceptance my entire life. It started when I was a young boy who was adopted by his mom’s new husband and has never changed.
Though my situation may be uniquely mine, most of us will wrestle with the need for approval and acceptance. The effect this has on us determines our willingness to hold on and the desperation we experience as we do.
Desperation can lead to remorse and regret, which can cause hurt and anxiety, followed closely by inferiority and shame. Ironically, the results of our desperation are self-inflicted and leave scars we will carry with us for a lifetime.
How we feel as we hold on while seeking to belong will determine our ability to see our experiences as part of who we are. We will see how this materializes in our lives when we realize that every pain has a purpose.
“Letting go and letting God” was never an option or a consideration as I sought my self-worth in the pursuit of things and the approval of people. Aging has allowed me to identify with this aspect of my character and come to terms with it.
My pursuit of workplace and church positions is evidence of this truth.
Do I still seek my self-worth in the pursuit of things and the approval of others? Yes, I suppose I do to some degree, but thankfully, I am getting closer to “letting go and letting God” every day.
As you survey your life, career, and service, I would ask you to ask yourself a simple question: Have I let go and let God do His will in my life, or am I still holding on in quiet desperation for the acceptance and approval of others?
If you are honest, you may be surprised by your answer. I know I was!
Proverbs 3:3-5, "Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your path straight"
Not sure, this side of Heaven I will every have the confidence, maturity, and humbleness to be free of caring what others think. At least not while actively working and participating in activities which are measuring me with others. It is freeing for me to envision a day when I am the wise old shadow in the room, full of all life's lessons, surrounded by others chasing approval.
May as well be "chasing the wind" King Solomon 970 BC