I remember that, as a younger man, when someone was talking, I was generally “hearing, not listening.” I often anxiously waited for whoever was talking to stop so I could say what I needed to say.
From my perspective, what I had to say was more important than whatever was being said. I do not believe I am alone in this way of thinking.
This especially seems true today, where “hearing, not listening” is rampant.
People constantly seem to believe that the louder I talk, the more likely I am to be heard.
From a volume perspective, this may be true, but although people hear you when you shout at them, I guarantee they are not listening to a word you say.
If that is true, you would think the noise would die down over time, but it seems to grow louder with each passion-filled point of view being expressed.
Interestingly, the older I have gotten, the more I tend to listen to someone rather than hear them. The main reason is that I have discovered that even the most obscure or strange
perspective to me has validity for the person sharing it and if I can listen to them. I may just be surprised by their willingness to listen to me, too.
" Hearing, not listening” is useless and disrespectful and tends to devalue anything we say when we want someone to give credence to what matters to us.
This is a pivotal time, as the clash of ideologies has spiraled into an unwillingness to engage anyone who disagrees. We may change this by listening to people, not just hearing them.
The world around us is a marketplace of ideas, where genuine thoughts and concerns should be shared and considered.
In writing this, I hope to have us think about how we hear and listen. Unfortunately, I am afraid most of us are like I was when I was younger, and listening is not as important to us as being heard.
We can know we are ‘hearing, not listening,’ when we believe our opinions, beliefs, or points of view are more important than those of other people. As much as I like to think what I have to say matters, I also realize the same applies to everyone else.
Beauty and growth can take place when we listen and intend to learn what someone else thinks and feels.
From there, who knows, maybe we will begin to listen to each other instead of just hearing one another!
Proverbs 12:15, The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. “
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